So I began to show the first edit to friends this past week. Actually the first were my two neighbours. Isabella and Mark. They knew nothing about the script and the story so I was especially interested to hear their reaction.
And quickly problems with the state of the edit arose, principally in that the story if tightly written that one missing detail made it difficult for them to follow what was happening. An example, I shot the scenes in Paul's/Claire's place here in my flat, and because I don't have the location as yet, Natalie's flat as well. This meant they simply had difficulty knowing when Claire was at her flat and when she was at her sister's, Natalie. The story is complicated enough that these small details made it difficult to judge the effectiveness of the story. Is there enough there? Do I need just a few more details, a little more explanation?
My instinct would be to add more, because I can always remove it in the edit, but for one other problem, the edit is running at 41 minutes. As this was intended to be one part of three parts, if the other parts were of equal length or if I have to add a few more minutes that would mean 3 x 43 minutes = 129minutes. If I was a name director perhaps I could interest someone in buying that, but since this is a debut feature that is unlikely to happen.
What are my options? Shorten it by cutting it tighter? I don't think there is a lot of fat to cut. I made it pretty lean from the beginning. I explain next to nothing, the minimal, to the point where I think it would be incomprehensible if it were cut it tighter. What about making it less complicated? I don't know if it would have the same resonance if I did this. Develop the Claire story as a feature by itself? Isabella was quite adamant that she would like this if the story were to develop, but not if it were to explain more.
There are two areas where it could be developed.
First the visual language is starting to be effective, even thought there are large gaps in it. I have not even begun to develop the language of the macro, that is Claire's world seen in the minutiae. I would need to make it longer to do this.
Second, to develop other characters in the story, before and after. The first part with Paul at the beginning. What is there in their relationship that Claire would try to take up Natalie's life?
Then her sister Natalie. What could be developed there?
And what happens after the final scene with Claire where she goes into the forest looking for Nick?
So I have a lot of thinking to do. In the meantime Ana is coming over on Wednesday and more feedback. If she were to have the same reaction...
Monday, March 17, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment